MSUGANA

Big Fish, Small Fish

Would you rather be a big fish in a small pond or a small fish in the big sea?

Personally, I’d rather be a small fish in the big sea.  The boyfriend of one of my good friends, however, had a better answer.  He said, “I’d rather be a big fish in a big sea” #LOL.

As humorous and overly-idealistic as it sounds, his answer is exactly why I’d rather be a small fish in the big sea.  It’s because you can never be a big fish in the big sea without first diving into the big bad OCEAN OF DOOM (aghh this terribly written sentence would make my English professor cringe).  

First…Let me tell you about my shift from being a ‘sorta-big fish in a small pond’ to a ‘small fish in the big sea’ and how much it changed me for the better.

Throughout my elementary, middle school, and high school years in Indonesia (yeah I’m only 20..Don’t have much life experience, here), I would effortlessly be on top of my class and do well in school.  I was cocky -I thought my IQ (which I’m sure has dropped significantly in the past couple of years) was a good indication of my success and that I didn’t have to do much to reach my academic or career goals.  Basically, I relied more on luck than hard work.  It was not until I moved to the United States and enrolled in a highly competitive high school that I suddenly felt a MAJOR slap in the FACE.

I went to a high school that was ranked 38 in the United States by USNEWS & World Report (out of the hundreds and thousands of high schools in the country) and yes all my friends there were incredibly smart, talented, and accomplished.  One of my best friends (hi Niel) was a National Biology Olympiad, another (hi Nick) is a US Olympic Diver who’s going to the London Olympics, another (hi Amit) was a Top 5 Congressional Debater in the United States, another got 1st Place in the World from NASA for his Spaceship design (LOL BIRGER I don’t look up to you, though..jk :P) etc..etc..I suddenly felt (literally) like shit.  

What am I?  What have I accomplished?  I’m really nothing compared to these people.

 It was truly a humbling experience though at the same time difficult for me.  This was felt by many people at my school (even our Wikipedia page says that we have a high level of stress due to its highly competitive nature).  The same case applies to students who enroll at top Universities.  It is common for these people to realize that there are so many other intelligent students out there and that you can never be good enough for yourself or for your school’s standards (this explains the high suicide rate at top schools like MIT).  

Overheard today at Vanderbilt: “I never got a B in my entire life until I got here.”

Despite the challenges, however, it is clear to me that being in a competitive environment also makes you more competitive in the pool (or if we’re continuing with the metaphor, then I guess: pond).   Why?  Because you become more aware of what you’re against and what you need to do to become the best.  You also come to develop higher standards of success for yourself and others.  While this may cause you to have difficulty in satisfying your personal goals (at least, to me), I find it to be beneficial because you become more motivated to achieve the highest level of success possible.

As for me personally, I am certain that the competitive environment that I’ve been exposed to is what has shaped me into who I am today.  I may not be as amazing as some of the friends I mentioned here, but it’s definitely been a wake up call.  Ever since I left Indonesia, I have worked much much harder and have realized that I can no longer rely on my so-called ‘effortless way to success’.  I push myself for the better because I know that I need to be my best.  In other words, being in the big sea pushes me to become a bigger fish, no matter how small I am. 

Basically, reality blows, peeps…People have become more and more talented, driven, intelligent, and just….plain..genius.  The world has become exceedingly more competitive.  

The best way to survive through this cruel cruel world is to jump in and dive into the big sea and do your best!  By doing this, you will learn from your environment to see what it takes to tackle the challenges ahead of you & what you need to work on to fatten yourself up and become a bigger fish :)